Ronan the Barbarian by James Bibby

Author:James Bibby [Bibby, James]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: James Bibby
Published: 2011-08-23T21:00:00+00:00

Nekros was getting a little pissed off with this sword salesman. Normally he had very little to do with sales executives of any description, as actually buying items was not a thing he did very often. If, for example, his Tribe needed a hundred horses to mount a raid, the last thing he would have thought of doing would have been to go down to Big Mal's Used Horse Mart and pay through the nose for them. He found it easier, cheaper, and much more satisfying to drift in there unexpectedly one night with a few of his best men, give Big Mal a short back and insides with his sword, then stroll off with whatever horses he felt like.

However, he'd thought a sword salesman might be quite interesting, especially one who was Sales Executive (South Frundor Region) for the Orcbane Sword Corporation, as Orcbane made some spectacularly brutal weapons. He was now beginning to realise that Interesting Sales Executives were up there with the White Dragon of Behan or the Lost Dwarfish Pub of Legend... they might exist, but nobody had actually ever found them. He was going to have no regrets whatsoever about following his Backers' instructions.

Belladon, as with salesmen the world over, had no idea of what a bad effect he was having on his potential client. He had gone through his repertoire by the book. Treat the client like a long-lost friend, smile a lot, get in a couple of good (but smutty) gags, have a bit of a chat about horses (and impress him with how many miles-per-bale his was currently doing), pass on a useful tip about a short-cut across the Setel Downs that he'd found, and have a bit of a man-to-man about girls. Now, when the client would be thinking what a regular guy he was, would be the time to strike.

"But listen," he said, "I mustn't waste any more of your valuable time. Look, here's our latest catalogue. Keep it, leaf through it when you get a minute. If you've any questions, get in touch any time! But I'd just like you to have a look at this!" He grinned inwardly as he opened his case and took out a very short sword in a two-foot scabbard. This was the absolute latest in sword technology and it had never yet failed to captivate a warrior.

Nekros, who had been about to sneer openly at such a puny little weapon, stared in disbelief as Belladon took the sword from its scabbard and pressed an opal set into the pommel. With an audible hiss the blade smoothly extended itself into a six-foot broadsword. Wordlessly, he reached out, took the weapon from Belladon, and hefted it in his hand. Beautiful! Light as a feather, perfectly balanced, yet deadly! And looks-wise, it was the most perfectly evil thing he had ever seen! Jet-black, with just a hint of silver tracery on the blade, and with rubies and garnets set into the pommel like pools of blood.

"It's the all-new Orcbane Retractable," Belladon said, proudly.

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